How the Hell Do I Feel

Incident: I’m walking back home. I could have taken an auto but didn’t. I’ve not felt this good for a long time now but now I’m on top of the word of the world. I keep saying ‘losing doesn’t matter’ but I just realized that winning does. Guess they are the two ends of a spectrum!

We won a cricket match today and I’m basking in that glory (all alone). All I wanted to do was think about it and feel good. It took a long time coming and was definitely not easy. They say that when you play well, you win. That’s not very true. Life is not fair and so is sport.

Feeling: Sometimes you feel so good that you just can’t find the right word to describe it! (Or maybe I choose not to express it this time around)

So here I am, walking and thinking about a lot of random things that I did with regard to cricket.

Back in school, I missed the birthday of my girlfriend to play a cricket match. We won that day and in the happiness, I forgot to wish her. She didn’t make a big difference in my life anyway! Cricket was a better choice I guess…

In college, I missed the finals of my league cricket because I waiting to pick up a friend who was late for the match. I was the opening batsmen and he was the opening bowler. The game had started by the time we reached and our team lost the trophy. I felt bad that day but the friend of mine is one of the dearest I have. Not playing that game was perhaps the turning point in our friendship…

I’ve been a part of my school, college, club and district teams that lost matches. We lost so many matches that after some time losing didn’t hurt me anymore. Then came the time when I started seeing the good side of losing a match. You’d just take the positives and hope you’d win the next one. Just being out there in the ground would give all the happiness I needed…

Now: What I learned in today’s victory is that having lost so many matches in the past, I had failed to realize what I was missing by not winning. Losing didn’t mean anything to me then and maybe losing still doesn’t mean anything. But I’m glad that I finally realized that winning matters. It means a lot especially when you’ve craved for it and tried your best to set things right for a long time….

“Victory matters!” I said to myself with a smile and keep walking.

I want to win more often…